Casual Sex vs Casual Love
So two weeks ago, I was visiting Adekemisola’s Blog when a particular post title caught my eye. It is titled Casual Sex vs Casual Love. Before I could complete my double take, I had already clicked the link to read.
Right now you are probably wondering like I did then, what this means exactly. Well, here’s how Adekemisola puts it;
You know how guys always say they can have ‘just sex’ with someone and not catch feelings? Well, they are right (according to the guy I spoke with). They are ‘wired’ that way and it probably works for them. This brings us to girls/women. We females generally associate illicit affairs with guys and constantly judge them on the casual sex issue, of which our own ‘offence’ is probably worse than casual sex. Yes, we fall in ‘casual love’.
Let me paint a picture. Lola meets Lekan in January, they start dating and she ‘loves’ him. He has sex with his colleague and she finds out; they break up. Lola meets Chidi in March, they start dating in April, she ‘loves’ him. Her parents find out and say she cannot marry someone from another tribe so they break up. She meets Olu in June and falls in ‘love’ with him. Before the year ends, Lola has ‘loved’ 5 different guys!
That’s casual love right there!
After reading her post (click here to read the rest), my palms got all twitchy and I decided not to leave without dropping a teeny little comment, you know… to air my thoughts and all. And I wrote:
Casual sex, casual love… I was thinking about this same thing just the other day and was wondering what happened to good ol’Shakespearean love (minus the cobwebs that is).
We know guys are polygamous animals (yeah it’s no excuse but then…), so the term casual sex is so on point. However, knowing your guy is having ‘casual sex’ outside your relationship is a tough pill to swallow. And if you do swallow it, it may save your relationship OR wreck it as the side chic may charm the pants of him (Hehe!).
On casual love, I would say “don’t blame girls”. Most are swept off by romance and they often confuse it for love. Some choose who they love. For some, if he is not hideous, a smooth-talker, is considerate and cares and (oh yeah) shows his wallet once in a while, they fall. Just like that. When things go wrong and they meet someone else who seems to treat them better, they probably say to themselves… “Now, this is true love”. Until BS kicks in again.
To some extent, I agree that just as most men are fickle sex-wise, many girls are so fickle when it comes to love. Sometimes, it doesn’t take cheating to make love die. It is common to see a girl dating a struggling guy, and sticks to him swearing it is love but most times, she wakes up to “harsh realities” when something better comes along or when she’s trying to prove to the world she’s moving up in circles.
In all, when it comes to breaking up and moving on I would recommend that, male or female, one should take time to heal before getting into another relationship. Mostly because he or she will be on the rebound and it is not really the best of ways to start a new relationship.
But hey, what do I know eh? Different strokes for different folks.
So what’s your stroke people? Do tell us. 😉